Archive for April, 2008

Alex P. Keaton Round 1: #16 v #17

April 25, 2008

Raising Arizona (#16) v. Blade Runner (#17)

The Perfect 'stache

Early work from the Coen brothers bringing over-the-top comedy to a level the 80s were just too young to fully fathom. The film only brought in a little over $22 million at release, but after more than 21 years of aging has become a fine wine, perhaps embodying one of the least talked about classic comedies of our generation. And I am convinced that the current TV series “My Name is Earl” is based of the life and image of Hi McDunnough.  This work has it all: baby snatching, ransom, blackmail, bounty hunters, policewoman-convict forbidden love, quintuplets, wife swapping, yodeling, diaper stealing, unfinished endings, grenade-explosion-gotcha-moments,…I think I just pooped myself a little bit.

Badass

If this were a competition for which movie had the longest periods of time without any dialog whatsoever, we’d already have crowned Blade Runner the Ultimate Grand Champion. In between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, Mr. Ford wanted to deviate from his typecast character of cocky hardened space jockey to a deeper role of cocky hardened futuristic android hunter, and pulls off this drastic change of style beautifully. Adding to the unintentional comedy value of this piece, it is set in the far future of 2019, where flying cars and 700 story complexes saturate downtown LA. If this is our future in 11 years, we really need to start on that engineering right away. Though I was only 3 months in the womb when this movie came out, it shaped me as a man. If watching Indiana Solo shoot robots in film noir while tagging with a sexdroid and occasionally daydreaming about unicorns doesn’t excite you, then you simply do not have testicles.

The matchup should be our first highly contested vote, possibly ending friendships and imploding the entire bracket before it reaches its first month in existence, and it may all be in vain. After the brutal battle between these two, the one emerging will have to bring it’s “A” game, for the winner of the #1 Ghostbusters/#32 Ordinary People confrontation waits in the wings.

– #5

Alex P. Keaton Round 1: #10 v #23

April 24, 2008

Fatal Attraction (#10) v. Heathers (#23)

Since this 80s throwdown cannot get enough of Michael Douglas we are going to go right into it with the #10 seed out of the Alex P. Keaton division. Many thought that sending this film all the way from New York to play in suburban Columbus, Ohio was a bit harsh upon the committees’ part considering its 1987 $156,645,693 gross earnings and 81% fresh rating from RT. Still others have commented that the 10 seed’s fate was sealed when female lead Glenn Close got old and rusty.

Every year for the past 25 years there has been a 10 v 23 upset. Will this year’s upset be the black comedy Heathers emerging victoriously over blockbuster mainstream Fatal Attraction? If you like playing croquet, using your own slang, and even purging with your best friends, then perhaps this movie is for you. If Heathers can stay sleek, low to the ground, and remember their fundamentals then they may be a strong upset bid early in the tournament and come screaming full tilt yelling “fuck me gently with a chainsaw” into the next round.

– Kobra Kai WOPR

Miracle on Ice Round 1: #6 v #27 Fight!

April 22, 2008

In this corner, weighing in at 175 lean, sexy pounds, the man who’s face launched a thousand douches, Gordon Gekko! Mr. Gekko, who certainly needs no introduction (at least if you’re a day trader, a wannabe day trader, a guy who’s seen Glengarry Glen Ross, a guy who thinks Alec Baldwin is the tits, or a guy that calls other guys-not-their-barber “champ,” “chief,” or “boss”), is the representative of one half of our first match:

#6 – Wall Street

making guys want to punch other guys for decades

versus

#27 – Lethal Weapon!

What really sets this movie apart from the other buddy-cop movies of the decade like Beverly Hills Cop is the fact that the biggest star of the film has no speaking roles. That’s right. It’s Mel Gibson’s mullet. Definitely rivals Patrick Swayze’s Roadhouse mullet, and that is no mean feat. It also stars Danny Glover, who was like a billion years old in the first one, yet managed to stay alive for 3 sequels. The challenge for Lethal Weapon will be avoiding seepage from its sequels. Joe Pesci was bad enough, but Joe Pesci and Chris Rock? Puh-lease.

Hey Moe!

So who ya got?

– Venkman

Coming Soon

April 22, 2008

Stay tuned for the greatest thing you’ve ever seen.

I hope you like movies