Author Archive

Just Say No Round 1 – Hunting an alien in the Central American jungle vs. Hunting for treasure in the South American jungle

June 15, 2008

Predator 12 v. Romancing the Stone 21

It kills for pleasure, it hunts for sport, but this time, it picked the wrong man.

What do you get when you send two future governors and Apollo Creed into the depths of the Central American jungle to fight an interstellar alien creature? The answer to that question comes in the form of possibly the greatest of all handshakes in the history of American cinema…

…as well as an 80’s movie that has withheld the test of time and a series of sequels and crossover films.

What’s that you say? You haven’t had enough Michael Douglas yet in this 80’s throwdown? Well that is about to be remedied. Thus far in the throwdown we have watched Douglas in his roles as a sex-craving lawyer and a money-craving stock and real estate speculator. Now it is time to see Douglas in Romancing the Stone as a razmataz swashbuckling opportunist pitted with the 80s sexy Kathleen Turner as they encounter adventure at each corner. The really question will be if Romancing’s watchability will trump Predator’s fast paced testosterone filled guns and blood.

Just look at this movie poster above. Clearly this movie is packed with adventure in many many forms including swinging from ropes in sunlit canyons. If you like robust adventurers with shit-eating grins while they stare straight into the eyes of danger while leggy blonds hold on tight for dear life then this might possibly be the movie for you.

– Kobra Kai

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Alex P. Keaton Round 1: #10 v #23

April 24, 2008

Fatal Attraction (#10) v. Heathers (#23)

Since this 80s throwdown cannot get enough of Michael Douglas we are going to go right into it with the #10 seed out of the Alex P. Keaton division. Many thought that sending this film all the way from New York to play in suburban Columbus, Ohio was a bit harsh upon the committees’ part considering its 1987 $156,645,693 gross earnings and 81% fresh rating from RT. Still others have commented that the 10 seed’s fate was sealed when female lead Glenn Close got old and rusty.

Every year for the past 25 years there has been a 10 v 23 upset. Will this year’s upset be the black comedy Heathers emerging victoriously over blockbuster mainstream Fatal Attraction? If you like playing croquet, using your own slang, and even purging with your best friends, then perhaps this movie is for you. If Heathers can stay sleek, low to the ground, and remember their fundamentals then they may be a strong upset bid early in the tournament and come screaming full tilt yelling “fuck me gently with a chainsaw” into the next round.

– Kobra Kai WOPR